just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
