Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
