so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
