I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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