HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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