Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Where is the hickey?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
