Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
