youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
