Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
