The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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