You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
