we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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