East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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