I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
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He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
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First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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