if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
