Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize