Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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