okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
