Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
