My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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