She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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