when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
