i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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