since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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