Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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