phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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