She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize