He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
