your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
this beer tastes like vomit already
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
