Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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