She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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