She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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