I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize