Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
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Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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