My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
