It's Friday. Sex?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
