what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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