I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Life is so much better after having sex.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
