As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
