someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
