There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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