Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
