You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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