So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i think i have herpe
just one?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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