Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
