We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
