I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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