he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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