No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
