best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
