Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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