Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
