No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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