I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
