69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
