I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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