I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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